Due to recent tumultuous events in my life, I've taken a step back and reevaluated myself. I realized something. I harbor a lot of animosity and hate towards people who have recently wronged me and betrayed me in an inexcusable way. I know as a Christian, I'm called to forgive, but I can't lie to myself. I do not forgive these people. I do desire to; to purge this out of me, but I can't come to say it with my heart. I pray everyday that one day I'll be able to forgive them, and although my lips will say it, the words are meaningless. Sometimes I feel like this heartless person. Those are the moments where the hate consumes me and puts me in this frenzied state of rage, but I do not act on it. I know in the end, that I am better than that and them. I cherish relationships and being faithful to a person and promises; that's why I'm better.
"Do not say, 'I'll pay you back for this wrong.' Wait for the Lord, and He will save you."